Gwyenn, Maryland

I am actually not a victim of domestic violence, but I am volunteering at a shelter. Many of the women have been talking about how they were treated very poorly by law enforcements when a domestic call was made, for there husbands hurt them, they had all the bruises and marks, and the cops would believe the husbands and send the wives to jail. This seems like a common story...Has this happend to anyone else, it just disturbes me and I want to be able to give some kind of advice for this situation.

Sara, Oregon

Divorced and single, after years of being lonely and refusing to date, I met a charming man.  He made me laugh and was quite witty.  Fell in love and never had a clue about the monster behind Dr Jekyll.  He started by getting more and more drunk, yelled terrible words at me, which I regularly forgave and put it all to drunkenness.  Next he called me all sorts of names which I had never heard before(slut, bitch, etc); shortly after he slapped me, grabbed me and used me for sex like I was just a toy.  I could detect a pattern and quickly jumped onto the internet to check if what I thought was correct.  Our relationship had all the signs of domestic violence.  When he yelled abuse at me, I could only lower my eyes and keep quiet because he terrified me in all sorts of ways as he threatened me.  Some time later, he assaulted me with grabs, slaps and a full punch to my face.  I still cannot remember the end of that night.  As usual, the next day he begged for forgiveness.  For four days, I did not eat and could only see his fist coming to my face. That did not stop him hitting me on my arm after I broke it.  He continued to call me names, check on me at all times and accuse me of cheating.  He has not hit me for a while but he insists I have other lovers coming to my house.  I would rather be alone than have someone drag me down until I feel like I do not know myself any more.  From an assertive woman, I am now feel like a useless puppet.  It is time to pick myself up and reclaim my self-esteem....

Marie, Unknown Location

The first time I experienced sexual harassment at work, I was dumbfounded. It was one of those situations where it kinda creeped up slowly on me; first it was the comments, then one day it was a slap on the rear. I tried to brush it off by laughing.

The real clincher was when I had enough of the job in general; so I gave my notice. By the end of the day I found myself in the oddest conversation. My boss said, “Now that you aren’t going to be working here, does that mean we can mess around?” I was outraged.  Luckily my spirit was strong and I walked away from it all. But I still cringe when I think about those days. I was this close to bringing him down, but unlike this boss, I decided not to try to ruin his life. I always wonder what would have happened if I had stood up more.

Thanks for letting me share.

Pamela, Illinois