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The Center for the Advancement of Women offers what women want: accurate information about women, by women. We are unique in that our national research only measures women’s opinions. Our research is neither static, nor indifferent. We are distinctive, because our research is used to fuel advocacy for women’s full equality.

We welcome you to share your story with us.

This portion of our site is for you to personalize the journey of what it means to be a woman. Your insight will help us to focus on the most important problems and opportunities in women’s lives. Your real life experience and ideas for a better future are essential.

So tell us… what’s your story?

...One evening he turned up drunk so I wouldn’t let him in. He went away but came back an hour later demanding I let him in and being very abusive. I didn’t so he smashed his way through the front door. I ran down stairs to quieten him as my children were asleep; by then they were 12,10,and 3. As I got downstairs he had already entered the house. He strangled me and smashed the house up. My two older children had woken up. I shouted them to get in the bedroom and stay there. I had never called the police before, but that night I feared for my life more than ever. The police came after what seemed like forever broke into the house and arrested him. Me and my children went into a refuge for 8 weeks. When I came out we started having contact again as I believed all of his lies and excuses, through womens aid I heard of a program called ‘the freedom programme.’ I attended this for twelve weeks at the end of last year and I have never looked back. I have had lots of support, but I would not have left him for good if it wasn’t for the program. It taught me about his belief system and how a man like him thinks; it saved mine and my children’s lives, although me and my children are still suffering the affects of all the years of abuse. Time and support are helping us to heal. I can understand why a lot of women go back, because its easier than fighting against it. It is hard being a single parent, but life was a lot harder with him around, we have our freedom of choice.

Rachel, Unknown Location

I am particularly revolted by an advert in support of Robert Mugabe’s “empowerment” policy or stance whatever you may call it inserted by a group, who I am hearing of a first time called the Young Women Movement (YWM). The advert is set on a very femininely pink background, has an image of a fairly middle aged woman, who to me represents the minority class of Zimbabwean women (who have managed to maintain such a fair facial skin, albeit sunken eyes) and has a headline that screams, Enough is enough! Zvakwana! Sokwanele!

On first sight of the advert, I thought to myself, At last someone has finally found the right words to summarise the pain that we Zimbabwean women have had to go through and maybe sought to encourage us to stand up for something worthwhile; but alas the advert proceeds to read;

“Women of Zimbabwe, enough is enough, there have been too many lies and demonisation of our country. Zimbabwe has done a lot for us (that is when I began to blink!!!) Age of Majority Act, Equal pay for equal work, Maintenance Act, Domestic violence Act. Women can and now own land, businesses"(There I thought, well, Okay! Then the advert goes on to say) “On 27th June, vote for the consolidation of women’s empowerment.”

I cannot believe that a sincere women’s movement would utter such nonsense! To a Zimbabwean woman, empowerment is not defined by a couple of Acts that are not supported to ensure that the woman is able to benefit from them.

My take on the adverts being placed by YWM is, Enough is Enough! We are tired of being used by politicians when they realise they have run short of apolitical gimmick; And woe to the woman who thinks that she can speak for the Women of Zimbabwe, without even consulting them.

Koliwe, Africa

I suffered mental abuse for around six years. At work I met this chap 10 years younger than me. It seemed like fun for a while, until he started to tell family and friends to stop coming, forcing me to eat, locking me in the house and taking things away from my kids. The police were invoved many times, but they seemed to blame me. So I had to put up with it, because he was much bigger and stronger. I had no choice. Even after going to the courts, he would not go away. Only because I’ve got a good family, they moved me over night, which meant leaving everything behind. I don’t regret this; only the scars are deep, and won’t go away, so drink is now my problem. I now see a shrink to help with this. My message to everyone that has been through or is still putting up with this: Leave now, items can be replaced, you can’t be. Be strong, you know you can.

Tina, Unknown Location

Turning 50 and having to fight age discrimination, while making a career change. I am now pursuing my Ph.D in Business Administration, having 31years of federal government service in Washington, DC. Our society is pursuing the younger generation and disregarding the Baby Boomer. We still have skills to share. I am going through this at this time and have decided to Start my Consulting Business in Training and Development.  I plan to hire the mature worker as well as the younger worker. There are several lawsuits pending per AARP and EEOC. Women be informed about your career, we are living longer.

Gwyenn, Maryland

I am actually not a victim of domestic violence, but I am volunteering at a shelter. Many of the women have been talking about how they were treated very poorly by law enforcements when a domestic call was made, for there husbands hurt them, they had all the bruises and marks, and the cops would believe the husbands and send the wives to jail. This seems like a common story...Has this happend to anyone else, it just disturbes me and I want to be able to give some kind of advice for this situation.

Sara, Oregon

Divorced and single, after years of being lonely and refusing to date, I met a charming man.  He made me laugh and was quite witty.  Fell in love and never had a clue about the monster behind Dr Jekyll.  He started by getting more and more drunk, yelled terrible words at me, which I regularly forgave and put it all to drunkenness.  Next he called me all sorts of names which I had never heard before(slut, bitch, etc); shortly after he slapped me, grabbed me and used me for sex like I was just a toy.  I could detect a pattern and quickly jumped onto the internet to check if what I thought was correct.  Our relationship had all the signs of domestic violence.  When he yelled abuse at me, I could only lower my eyes and keep quiet because he terrified me in all sorts of ways as he threatened me.  Some time later, he assaulted me with grabs, slaps and a full punch to my face.  I still cannot remember the end of that night.  As usual, the next day he begged for forgiveness.  For four days, I did not eat and could only see his fist coming to my face. That did not stop him hitting me on my arm after I broke it.  He continued to call me names, check on me at all times and accuse me of cheating.  He has not hit me for a while but he insists I have other lovers coming to my house.  I would rather be alone than have someone drag me down until I feel like I do not know myself any more.  From an assertive woman, I am now feel like a useless puppet.  It is time to pick myself up and reclaim my self-esteem....

Marie, Unknown Location

The first time I experienced sexual harassment at work, I was dumbfounded. It was one of those situations where it kinda creeped up slowly on me; first it was the comments, then one day it was a slap on the rear. I tried to brush it off by laughing.

The real clincher was when I had enough of the job in general; so I gave my notice. By the end of the day I found myself in the oddest conversation. My boss said, “Now that you aren’t going to be working here, does that mean we can mess around?” I was outraged.  Luckily my spirit was strong and I walked away from it all. But I still cringe when I think about those days. I was this close to bringing him down, but unlike this boss, I decided not to try to ruin his life. I always wonder what would have happened if I had stood up more.

Thanks for letting me share.

Pamela, Illinois