Read the Women Blog!
Read the Women Blog
March 14, 2008
You can also read the Women blog on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° website. 
The Politician’s wife: caught in the crosshairs
While political sex scandals are nothing new, the media’s scrutiny of their impact on politicians’ spouses is a relatively new topic of conversation.
As far back as we know, men in power have engaged in extra-marital affairs. It wasn’t until then-First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps due to her elevated profile on universal health care reform, endured the public humiliation of standing beside her husband, before a phalanx of cameras on live national television, did the public begin unrestrained discussion and debate about the behavior of the victims, especially that of the politician’s wife. “Stepford Wife” was a label often uttered by the disdainful; others defended her stoicism.
Perhaps the cacophony signals a change in the perception of the women behind the men in powerful roles, reflecting the changing world for women in all spheres of life - from the traditionally polite and smiling wife (”for better or for worse”) to a powerful partner with her own individual image. From someone who is attractive in photo opportunities to advisor and power behind policy decisions, sometimes publicly, presumably more often, privately.
The women in these roles are now likely to be highly educated and holding professional positions in their own right. Even so, probably none can know the demands of living under the public spotlight and being thrust into a higher standard of accountability, until they have actually lived it.
With women running for higher office and holding powerful leadership positions in corporate America, the pressure not to play dutiful wife will come from some quarters. Some will see themselves in similar circumstances and will identify with the women who embodied the old-fashion virtues of sucking it up to keep the family together, seeing their husbands’ philandering as “not a reason to walk away from long-term marriage,” as Cindy Adams stated on her New York Post column yesterday. According to the Center for the Advancement of Women’s research on women and religion, 44 percent of women support the idea that divorce should be more difficult to obtain, further illustrating women’s stance on this issue.
Julie Gray says
I think that if women were honest with themselves they would not use religion as the scapegoat for staying with an unfaithful husband/parntner. Most women blame themselves when men cheat and look for what they could have done to prevent such an act from occurring. Men need to take responsibility for their actions and if women continue to condone this behaviour they never will. This goes beyond ‘just an affair’ but about the safety of the woman of a cheating husband who may not wear a condom? high priced prostitute or not does not matter or change the fact that HIV is prevalent in North. The transmission rate is higher amongst women and I think women need to start taking care of themselves. Be honest with yourself and ask ‘why?’ are you really staying with a cheating partner who has left you vulnerable to preventable disease(s). What kind of person would put you at such a risk? and why would you want someone like that?
julie gray
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Stephanie Bailey says
How much more responsible and accountable would it be for a cheating man (or woman for that matter) to have enough decency to not even ask their spouse to stand next to them, and to explain to their constituents that he (in this case) requested that his wife not stand next to him and subject herself to showing the pain that he obviously put her through. It seems to me that it is both uncaring and selfish to subject someone that one supposedly loves to this unfortunate, uncomfortable position. How much more class, if there was any to spare, would Spitzer have shown if he were to state that his wife was willing to be there with him, but that he wanted to give her time outside of the public eye for now. But no, perhaps his intended message was “See, it’s not so bad, even my wife is standing beside me.” If this is true, how selfish is that?
Putting the spouse in the position of having to say yes or no to standing there during the confession is irresponsible. If she volunteered or insisted, I don’t think that is a helpful example.